fashion. wine. design... and my life.

Posts Tagged ‘personal’

9 Nov…

In Uncategorized on November 9, 2016 at 1:21 pm


WHAT just happened?

All throughout the 2016 Presidential race, I was with her.  Never wavered… I was #imwither.  And, truth be told… being with her, meant I was 100% not with him.

Enter 9 Nov…

Heavily tuned in to watching the results be revealed, I had that feeling and I knew the imminent outcome.

That “ugly feeling” in my gut surfaced incredibly early and while I struggled to ignore… IT remained constant.

Throughout the primaries, throughout the state/city tours of the candidates, throughout the debates, throughout the media coverage and the venom written via social media platforms, throughout it all, that feeling was present… and, I knew.

So, while I had a sleepless night to begin processing the outcome of the 2016 Presidential election, my 16 year old daughter did not.

Sound sleeping for her.  But… waking up on 9 Nov, her perception of the world shifted and now, healing beings.

This morning… as she stood in her bedroom door and I stood in the door of my bedroom, my daughter Zoe asked me did “he” really win…

I told her, “unfortunately yes”…

She quickly turned into her room, walked towards her closet and then I heard a thud.
As I entered her room, she was slumped in her closet door, head down, crying…
I kneeled down and started telling her that I understand her frustration and that we will get through this and be alright… she lifted her head, face drenched with tears, looked at me and said… “what is going to happen to Zack?!”
THAT statement…. it put a jolt into my heart.
My daughter, one who is of a liberal, encompassing spirit… one who strives to see the beauty and potential in situations, she automatically associated his win with a racist revolution and now worries about Zack… her black brother.
Her black brother who is away from home, for he is a Freshman in college.  Her kind, humble, intelligent and magnetic black brother, whose brown skin  — beautiful brown skin — could now make him more of a target… simply because HE won.
WHAT just happened?
And before you think otherwise, know that this is real talk. Real concerns.  Real discomfort.  Perhaps they are not your concerns… but they are real. Real. REAL.
Unprecedented.  Unsettling.  Device.  Malicious.  Uncomfortable.
All words that can be used to describe this most recent Presidential race.
And most unfortunate are the many, many, MANY conversations that families whose skin is brown are forced to have with their loved ones… especially their children. Conversations (repeated conversations) in which the message of being resilient, maintaining an optimistic spirit, and still displaying love for one another is paramount.
But,…the results are the results.
With any election, someone must rise as the victor. The voice of the people (or those who opted to show up and VOTE) has been confirmed.
Recorded… and delivered.  Many are elated with the results.
And… many are like me… thinking, who would have thought, eh?
More than ever it is obvious… #imwithher was trumped… literally!
And, as any day does, 9 Nov continues.
As I periodically shake my head, as if I were attempting to knock away a bad thought or wake from an awful dream…
as I wipe away the sporadic tears that my mind chatter seem to make appear out of nowhere…
as the reality of America’s new First Family becomes REALITY…
the, WHAT just happened?
Well… that must be replaced with…
WHAT now?
My reality is this…
Yes.. I have a black son.  A black son whose energy is so powerful, that his texts and comments have assured me (without him even realizing) that he will be alright.
I have a caring daughter.  And her father and I have reassured her that with God, faith, family and love, WE will be alright.
I have a supportive circle of family, siblings, and friends.  Their messages to me today and the love that has been displayed… I know that we will be alright.
For all of the above, the results will be accepted… and I will move forward in a manner to be supportive of  this new leadership.
FOUR years, eh?
Four years from now, I know that I will look back and read this cleansing blog.
But next election…
Well, lemme’ just keep my mouth shut…
cuz’ we are going to be alright!

…things are never what they seem.

In Uncategorized on March 26, 2013 at 6:48 pm

blogLooking out of my kitchen window while peeping at facebook, tunes from Pandora floating in the background (Beyonce today — don’t judge) and sippin’ on my favorite coffee with organic half and half, I saw my friend’s status… and it was like she read my mind.

Six simple words… “things are never what they seem.”

My shoulders twitch from an immediate chuckle and I’m now wearing a huge grin.  From over 8,000 miles and a different time zone away she always appears at the most appropriate moment.  Haha… I’m chalking it up to energy —  how in the world did she know that I was JUST about to write a blog on the very same subject?!

Don’t let me lose you… and please don’t wander off so quickly, for I am not about to blog about anything negative.

Her words, “things are never what they seem” are incredibly refreshing to me and embody one of the most important life lessons.  Simply put, we all have unique stories.  In turn… completely embracing this truth and refraining from applying your own perceptions to the life of another (I know… much easier said than done) is the key to finding that ethereal happiness we all desire.  Right?

Countless people seem to have contemplated this and figured it out.

How easily can one find quotations by Confucius stating “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated” or Theodore Roosevelt saying that “Comparison is the thief of joy” … what about our very own “Live your best Life” Oprah Winfrey and her many mantras… “With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.”

Haha… calling Dr. Richards.  Dr. Richards?

Naaaaaaah.  I’m not a psychologist.

I’m creative.

I’m an artist, an interior designer… a stella & dot stylist.  Actually, “completely right-brained” might offer a more precise description.

Emotion, intuition and nonverbal communication steer my actions and furnish me with insight.  Couple that with over four decades of wisdom (in the form of life lessons) a splash of analytical tendencies and a wholesome love of self… I’m thinking that in itself could afford a figurative “Dr.” status!  Haha… just kidding!

Seriously though… I’m just like you.  Working hard, trying to be a productive member of society/my community, wanting each day to feel good and basically, be happy.  And of course…sometimes, lose sight, start glancing at that “greener grass” and make assumptions about what may or may not be in another’s world…  shit, I’m human, eh?!

But… I always come back to the notion and much-needed filter, “things are never what they seem”.  These words act as a refreshing reminder and enable me to completely appreciate what I have in my world.  Because the bottom line is, we ALL have unique stories… and discounting yours while elevating someone else’s will only generate for you, a long (actually, it should read: looooooooooooooooooog) road of internal discontentment.  Yep… I said it!

The past 54 days have been some of the most enlightening days in my lifetime and have fortified this belief.

Since shaving my head, the amount of feedback that has been forwarded my way has been incredibly humbling and at times surprising.

Without going into great detail… the feedback stems from being showered with complements, told that I was an inspiration/brave, asked if I was undergoing chemotherapy and even received an embarrassingly unwanted head-rubbing.  Some have revealed to me that they could never see themselves doing this and why they couldn’t… others told me that when my hair grows back I should think about wearing “this” type of style and they proceed to tell me what “this” should be… and others have simply embraced my new look… and left it at that.

Hey, I know why I shaved my head and I am still comfortable and delighted with my decision.

But, going back to… “things are not what they seem” — with each response, my “right-brained” self used the comments as a gauge. A dual-sided gauge no doubt, for surely those that decided to give me feedback had some sort of preconceived notion as to why I would or would not shave my head.  Sometimes what I thought an individual might say, they didn’t… or, what I thought they wouldn’t say, they did.

Can you imagine 54 days straight of “something that someone said or did” granting you with continuous “ah-ha” moments?

Well…welcome to my world… and I would NOT trade it for anything!

Surely my friend didn’t have my hair adventures on her mind when she posted her status… but I can guarantee you that in some way, shape or form… her reason for posting her statement directly relates to we ALL have a unique story.  AND simply… embrace it for what it is!

55Tomorrow is day 55…

with an open-mind, I enthusiastically await what comes my way.



Good & Plenty can make it good and plenty?

In Uncategorized on May 2, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Good & Plenty an aphrodisiac?

How did I miss the boat on this one?   Lo and behold, it seems that there is an abundance of articles written to support this notion… including the Elle magazine write-up that I recently stumbled upon.  Reading that article sparked my curiosity and it definitely induced a desire (no pun intended) for further research.

Written back in 2009, by Rachel Grumman, the article outlines the top 10 grocery store items that can improve couple’s libidos.  The first item?  We could all easily guess… and rightfully so, it deserves its #1 status:  Chocolate.  The second, not as easy.  Honestly, it was another “who knew” moment for me… but after reading the article, I definitely understand the correlation:  Pumpkin pie.

The third item?

Haha… the third item immediately generated a raised eyebrow!  Who knew that Good & Plenty, my all time  F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E childhood candy can make you horny?  Really?  Those pink and white oblong candies?  The candies that as a child, I strategically ate — eating one piece at a time (alternating the colors), shifting it from side to side in my mouth, cracking the candied shell with my teeth until it disappeared and THEN chewing the black licorice center.  Those candies???

Apparently so…

According to Ms. Grumman and a host of others that I researched, the libido elevator comes from a mixture of the scent and taste of licorice.  That combination is supposed to pack a mighty punch — causing an increase in blood flow to your special parts — thus heightening your desire and putting you in the mood.  Although men too can be effected, it seems that women are most impacted…. haha – or should I say, stimulated!  Needless to say, you have got to be a fan of licorice and attracted to the flavor — if not, then it is a moot point, eh?!

And in a “keeping it real” kind of way, for me, it really does make sense.

I had an “ah-ha” moment… even more so after I went to the store and purchased a 99¢ box of my beloved candy.  No…no… NO — not what you are thinking!  Haha… I am not about to narrate steamy details of my bedroom affairs.  The store visit was mandatory because my memory needed to be refreshed.  It had been yearssssssssssssssss since I last tasted Good & Plenty.  After reading the article and spending way too much time googling information, I had to taste them again — with a “grown-up/adult” tongue!  It was an experiment…

Funny how you never forget habits.

Pink, white, pink, white… one after the other, I popped in pieces and devoured my Good & Plenty just as I did as a child.   BUT… this time, I analyzed the smell and the taste — as if it were a fine wine.  Yep… the licorice taste and scent was very intense.  Very warming… it gripped me in sort of hypnotizing manner.  The flavor… deliciously spicy and it lingered on my palate — and that is when I had that “ah-ha” moment.  The light bulb turned on and I made the connection.

Eating the Good & Plenty didn’t make me want to immediately hop in the sack… and I don’t think I had an increase in blood flow you know where, BUT — there was a bit of a euphoric rush.  The feelings that overcame me while eating Good & Plenty are reminiscent of the sensations experienced when drinking my favorite red wines.  That damn anise!!!  I love reds packed with anise… and since anise has a flavor that resembles licorice, it explains the attraction.  Truth be told… where the Good & Plenty fell short, a glass of a robust red, packed with anise will always do the trick! (Ahem — too much information?)

At any rate… so much for my experiment, eh?

Well… the articles that I found never did mention the quantity of Good & Plenty that needed to be consumed in order to reach that sexual peek.  Hmmm, and I do have a good portion of the box left over…

Haha… are you thinking what I am thinking?!